Valentine’s Day isn’t for everyone. And in the case of horror movies, there is a bizarre trend of terrible boyfriends that nobody would want to spend Valentine’s Day with. Whether it’s because they’re borderline stalkers, psychotic or just awful decision makers, here is a fun list of the absolute worst boyfriends in horror movies ever. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!
Billy Loomis (Scream)
When you look past his super cool hair there isn’t much else to like about Scream’s Billy Loomis (Skeet Ulrich). Almost every time we see Billy and Sidney (Neve Campbell) interact in the movie we see him giving her a hard time about their lack of a sex life. Sure, they’ve been dating a while, but keep in mind that there is a literal murderer on the loose and the anniversary of Sidney’s mother’s death is steadily approaching. Now she has to deal with this guy? Brutal. However, she loves Billy for some reason and eventually gives into the whole puppy-dog eye routine. Of course the same night Sidney decides to lose her virginity to him is the same night Billy decides to confess to all the recent killings. And the cherry on top of it all? He also was responsible for killing her mother and framing someone else for it. Bad boys are fun and all but this is just ridiculous.
David McCall (Fear)
Meet David a.k.a every father’s worst nightmare. Fear’s David McCall (Mark Wahlberg) gets on everyone’s creep radar early on in the film for how quickly he becomes obsessed with his latest flame, Nicole (Reese Witherspoon). As if that wasn’t bad enough he goes on to beat up one of Nicole’s friend for hugging her, threatens her father and does unspeakable things to the family dog. Since he isn’t the package she thought he was Nicole dumps his sorry butt. This results in a home invasion that David thinks Nicole will be flattered by and will want to get back together with him.
Brady (Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers)
While Halloween 4‘s Brady (Sasha Jenson) never killed anyone he still deserves a slot on this list for being a great big jerk. After being informed that his girlfriend Rachel (Ellie Cornell) can’t spend Halloween with him, he basically throws a temper tantrum. He pouts a lot and eventually ends up sleeping with another girl. When Rachel catches him he doesn’t really defend himself, shrugs off the whole situation and goes back to the girl he’s cheating with. Which is why I can imagine fans cheering when Michael Myers eventually crushes his head later in the movie.
Crispian (You’re Next)
It’s one thing to be the black sheep of the family, it’s a totally different thing to hire a bunch of assassins to kill your family. That’s right, for the sake of collecting a hearty inheritance Crispian (A. J. Bowen), decides to play the victim while the rest of his family is busy being slaughtered. Perfect plan, right? What he didn’t count on was his girlfriend Erin, who grew up on a survivalist compound, taking out all his killers-for-hire. Talk about karma.
Micah (Paranormal Activity)
If I were to play devil’s advocate I would say Paranormal Activity’s Micah (Micah Sloat) is the least hate-able boyfriend on this list. Once he finds out about his girlfriend’s ghost curse thing his response is basically “Okay, that sucks and you probably should have told me sooner but we’ll work it out.” Oddly supportive, Micah becomes obsessed with getting rid of the demon that now haunts his home. Along the way he becomes less likable and makes some really bad decisions. Just one of them being when he brings home an Ouijia board then gets frustrated when his girlfriend wants him to get rid of it. By the end of the film he comes off as kind of douchey which is why nobody was shedding any tears when he finally dies in the last scene.
This article was originally published 2/14/19
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