{WARNING: BIG SPOILERS: This article is meant as a reminder and refresher for those who have seen and/or read and/or can’t stop thinking about GAME OF THRONES. You will likely be confused if you haven’t done. But, read on friends! All are welcome in these nerd halls!}
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Game of Thrones’ eighth and final season fast approaches. If you’re like me, you’ve obsessively analyzed the photos and the trailer. You’ve done your rewatch. You are anxiously awaiting the next chapter. And, if you’re like me, you often go; “When exactly did that happen? Was it before or after the other thing?” Like, did Jon become Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch before Ygritte died? Or was that later?
Or, maybe you don’t have time to rewatch nearly 70 hours of television. You have better, more important things to do! We applaud you. And, we may be able to help you refresh your memory for the war to come.
It occurred to us at GGA, that whether you’ve obsessed over every GoT detail or not… it would be nice to have a map, if you will, of individual characters’ arcs over seven seasons.
So, we present to you the third in our Game of Thrones character recap series. Let’s follow Jon Snow (Kit Harington) through his arc over seven seasons of Game of Thrones, shall we?
SEASON ONE
Our introduction to Jon Snow is as a Stark child. He’s with his family, and they treat him with love and respect (except for Catelyn (Michelle Fairley)). Due to societal constraints, he doesn’t have a lot of options. But he has his father’s integrity, strength and code of conduct. He goes to the wall with those things in his pocket, and we all start to find out he’s got much more than that.
- Jon and Rob (Richard Madden) teach Bran (Isaac Hempstead Wright) how to shoot an arrow. He’s not great. But, Arya (Maisie Williams) is. Jon likes her best.
- Ned (Sean Bean) is on his way to kill a Night’s Watch deserter that’s been captured. He brings all of his sons that are of age with him. Ned is like, ‘what bastard?’ Am I right? Also, Theon (Alfie Allen) is there.
- The deserter saw wights, and he ran. Because, of course he did. Ned kind of believes him, but the penalty is the penalty and Ned is so freaking black and white. He cuts the guy’s head off.
- Makes sure Bran watches or Ned will know. It’s their responsibility to carry out the sentence. Honor and all that.
- Jon is proud of Bran for not crying. This seems abusive. Bran is like 8? Just saying.
- On the road back they find a dead dire wolf. Dire wolves don’t come south of the wall. And wights haven’t existed for thousands of years. Take the hint.
- The wolf had 5 pups and they’re alive. Jon points out there’s one for each Stark child. He leaves himself out. He’s not a Stark. Ned agrees to make the wolves family. It’s a sigil, Northman thing.
- As they leave the carcass, Jon finds the runt of the litter. Not a Stark my a#$. A little white dire wolf pup. He names it Ghost. Oh my god, I could not love dire wolves more!
- King (Mark Addy) and Queen (Lena Headey) arrive at Winterfell. Jon’s not allowed at the feast because he’s a bastard and Catelyn hates him for it.
- Takes his bastard frustrations out on a fight dummy. Meets Tyrion (Peter Dinklage), who’s intentionally avoiding festivities. Tyrion tells Jon to wear the word ‘bastard’ like armor so no one can hurt him. What does he know about it? “All dwarves are bastards in their fathers’ eyes.”
- Uncle Benjen (Joseph Mawle) shows up and Jon wants to come with him to the wall. No one there will care that he’s a bastard, and the Starks have defended the wall for centuries. Done.
- Says goodbye to comatose Bran, who’s “fallen”. And gives Arya Needle. “Stick em with the pointy end.”
- At the crossroads, Ned is going south to King’s Landing. Jon is going to the wall. Jon asks about his mother. Ned promises he’ll tell him about his mother the next time they meet. They will never see each other again. It. Is. Heartbreaking. Ugh. Ow.
- Jon goes to the wall with Benjen, Ghost and Tyrion, who wants to “piss of the top.” Everyone has goals.
- The wall is a real let-down. It’s full of thugs, thieves and leftovers. He’s a better fighter than everybody. Alliser Thorne (Owen Teale) hates him immediately.
- Benjen says goodbye. He’s going ranging north of the wall. He won’t let Jon come with him.
- Beats everybody up in training and becomes a target. Tyrion steps in to help and let him know he’s not better than anyone else, he’s enjoyed a lot of privilege. Topical.
- Switches gears and offers to help Grenn (Mark Stanley) and Pyp (Josef Altin). He also becomes friend and champion of the super smart sad sack that is Samwell Tarly (John Bradley).
- Takes the oath. Gets assigned to the stewards. What?!? The stewards! But, Sam points out that Lord Commander Mormont (James Cosmo) asked that Jon be his personal steward. He wants to groom Jon for command. Okay, fine. He’ll steward.
- Benjen’s horse comes back with no rider and Ghost shows up with a human hand in his mouth. Two rangers are found dead and brought to Castle Black. This isn’t going well.
- Pulls a knife on Thorne, who deserves it for taunting Jon about Ned’s arrest in King’s Landing. Thorne is an incredible jerk. What a rod that guy is.
- Confined to quarters, Jon is in the right place at the right time when the dead rangers wake up with icy blue eyes and try to kill Mormont. Burns them. Cool.
- Mormont gives Jon Longclaw. He’s even changed the bear on the hilt to a white wolf. That sword is awesome.
- Maester Aemon (Peter Vaughan) gives Jon a talking to about wanting to defect. He’s a member of the Night’s Watch now. The game of thrones doesn’t concern them. He should know, since he’s a freaking Targaryen.
- Defects anyway, when Ned is executed. He’s going to fight for Rob. But, Sam, Pyp and Grenn track him down and bring him back.
- Mormont forgives him, as long as he goes beyond the wall with him to find out what’s out there and look for Benjen. Jon’s in.
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SEASON TWO
Jon spends the entirety of season two beyond the wall. It’s a far cry from where he was in season one, and not anywhere near as dangerous as it gets for him. He ranges, spies, meets a wildling girl or two and kills a crow. He’s finding himself.
- North of the wall, the ranging party gets to Craster’s keep.
- Craster (Robert Pugh) is a disgusting monster who marries his daughters. Don’t look at his daughter wives. His wife daughters. His waufters. Dwiveters. You get it. “What happens to the boys?”
- Talks out of turn when Craster is taking bribes for information.
- Mormont is mad at Jon for being dumb. “You want to lead one day? Well, learn how to follow.”
- Sam tries to get Jon to help Gilly (Hannah Murray) after he ‘saves’ her from Ghost. She’s pregnant and worried it’s a boy but won’t say why. Jon is like, no way are you both crazy? They are and they aren’t.
- Finds out why Gilly was worried when he sees Craster taking a baby boy into the woods and leaving it for the wights. His first wight sighting.
- Craster catches Jon following him, knocks him out, drags him back and kicks the Night’s Watch out of his keep. Great.
- Tells Mormont what he saw, but Mormont already knew it was happening. Double great.
- Arrive at the Fist of the First Men. Qhorin Halfhand (Simon Armstrong) arrives from the Shadow Tower and thinks they should adjust their approach. Small ranging parties are better for taking out Mance’s lookouts. Jon is allowed to join him.
- They overtake some lookouts, but one is a girl and it takes Jon by surprise. Ygritte (Rose Leslie). Qhorin wants Jon to kill her and walks away.
- Hesitates and Ygritte gets away. He runs to catch her and does, but it’s too late in the day to look for his party. They need to sleep where they are. He knows nothing.
- He ties her up. She’s a prisoner. She convinces him to sleep close and share body heat and then sexually harasses him. He knows nothing.
- Holds strong and doesn’t get harassed into sexing. In the morning, he keeps her on a leash so they can walk. They talk about the history of the first men and she taunts him about his virginity.
- More sexual advances that get him to draw his sword. Not that one… Longclaw. But, she trips him and gets away AGAIN and leads him right into an ambush. He’s captured. Nuts.
- Meets the Lord of Bones/Rattleshirt (Ross O’Hennessy) who is not an appealing human and has captured Qhorin and killed the other crows.
- Ygritte convinces Rattleshirt that Mance will want to talk to Jon and he shouldn’t collect his skeleton. Okay, fine.
- On the way to Mance, Qhorin tells Jon he needs to be willing to “do what needs to be done” and then he attacks him, calls him traitor. Rattleshirt stops him the first time, but lets them fight when Qhorin attacks again.
- Qhorin says all kinds of nasty things about Jon and his mom and dad. They fight pretty intensely.
- Reluctant at first and then gets sufficiently angry for murder. Qhorin drops his sword and Jon runs him through. “We are the watchers on the wall.” says Qhorin as he dies. Qhorin Halfhand sacrificed himself so Jon could get in with the free folk. And Jon did what needed to be done.
- Wildlings are shocked. Qhorin was a legend and Jon killed him. They free him as they arrive at Mance’s giant encampment.
SEASON THREE
Jon’s loyalty is in question throughout season three. The free folk trust him to a point, but they’re wary. He and Ygritte fall in love but it doesn’t matter. At the end of season three, jon, everyone around him and the audience all know exactly where his loyalty lies.
- At the Frostfangs, Jon discovers that Mance’s army is every single wildling ever. Nobody’s happy to see him.
- Sees a giant for the first time. They’re crazy big and awesome.
- Jon mistakes Tormund Giantsbane (Kristofer Hivju) for Mance and everyone thinks it’s hilarious. Jon bends the knee for Tormund, and I kind of can’t believe that wasn’t a running gag for the rest of the series.
- Mance is a pretty cool guy. He wants to know why Jon wants to join them. Jon has some trouble at first but gets Mance with the story of Craster’s sons and his disgust for Mormont putting up with it. “I want to fight for the side that fights for the living.” If that’s not a self-fulfilling prophecy, no self-fulfilling prophecy exists.
- They march. Mance takes him to Orell (Mackenzie Crook) who’s warging. Jon did not know that was a thing. Mance asks Orell what he sees through the eagle above them, and Orell says he saw the Fist and “dead crows.” Uh oh. Wights got em.
- Arrive at the Fist. Dead horses, no dead people. Either they got away or they zombied out… or both. Jon’s worried about Mormont. He should be, but not for that reason.
- Mance sends Tormund with a ranging party to climb over the wall. They get Jon to tell them a bunch of details about how many men are guarding the wall and where. Jon mostly tells the truth.
- Joins climbing party with Ygritte. Jon is an asset when they get over, and if he’s lying they’ll kill him.
- Ygritte steals Longclaw and leads Jon into a beautiful spa cave. Cave sex. They’re in love now. He knows nothing.
- They climb the wall. It doesn’t go great. It cleaves and cracks and some people fall to their death. The line that Jon and Ygritte are on falters and Orell takes the opportunity to off Jon by cutting the rope.
- Manages to hang on and keep himself and Ygritte alive. They’re over the wall. No big deal.
- Turns out Orell is hot for Ygritte. That explains a lot.
- Wildlings are going to raid a farm for horses and gold. There’s an old man there that Jon doesn’t want killed, but Tormund and Orell do. Jon makes too much noise so the farmer hears them and rides off.
- Wildlings catch the farmer near the windmill that Bran, Jojen (Thomas Brodie-Sangster), Meera (Ellie Kendrick), Rickon (Art Parkinson), Osha (Natalia Tena) and Hodor (Kristian Nairn) are sheltering in.
- Orell wants Jon to prove his loyalty by killing the old man. Summer and Shaggy Dog are standing by. Jon is right outside Bran’s window.
- Won’t kill the old man. Ygritte does it for him, but it means he’s still a crow.
- Tormund orders wildlings to kill Jon, and as they attack, Jon knocks Ygritte down so she can’t come to his aid and dig her own grave. Then Tormund holds her back. She’s really into Jon.
- Dire Wolves, engage!!! Jojen convinces Bran to warg into Summer. He does, and Summer and Shaggy Dog take out the wildlings attacking Jon.
- Kills Orell himself, confesses that he’s always been a crow… but Orell wargs into his eagle right before he dies and the eagle attacks from above and slashes up Jon’s pretty face. That eagle is still out there. If it comes back in season 8 I will be extremely satisfied.
- Rides away. Ygritte is left behind. She. Is. Pissed.
- Stops to nurse his wounds. Ygritte finds him. She shoots him with three arrows in totally survivable places, because love.
- Horse brings Jon to Castle Black, where Sam and Pyp (who have escaped mutiny with Gilly… and Sam totally killed a walker) are happy to see him. Thorne is really not happy to see him.
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SEASON FOUR
SO MUCH happens to Jon in season four. He is caught up in intrigue and betrayal in and around Castle Black for the entirety of season four. His full loyalty is with the Night’s Watch. And, his singular mission is to protect Castle Black and Westeros from the wildling hoards that threaten to invade. It’s so strange now, to look back and realize that all the way through season four, the wildlings were the enemy. Crazy.
- Healing from his run-in with Ygritte, who loved him enough to mortally injure but not kill him.
- Mormont is dead. Rob is dead. Jon is resolute in sticking around Castle Black.
- Thorne, Janos Slynt (Dominic Carter) (sent to the wall from the city watch by Tyrion, hand of the king) and Maester Aemon put Jon on trial for his offenses against the Night’s Watch.
- Admits to killing Qhorin, sexing Ygritte and living with the wildlings. But, he had good reasons, you guys. He also has the goods on the wildling invasion and Mance Rayder’s plans.
- Thorne and Slynt want to kill him. Aemon believes him and keeps him alive.
- New arrivals at the wall. Olly (Brenock O’Connor), a boy who’s family and village were obliterated by Tormund and Ygritte; and Locke (Noah George Taylor), a Ramsay Bolton spy sent to kill Jon. Ooh, it is dicey at the wall.
- Training the Night’s Watch to fight wildlings, Olly loves Jon for wanting to kill wildlings.
- Jon hates Thorne. Thorne hates Jon. They REALLY want to kill each other.
- Grenn and Edd (Ben Crompton) come back to the wall. They escaped the mutineers at Craster’s Keep that killed Mormont. Mutineers are still there, raping and pillaging.
- Jon wants to take a ranging party to kill the bad crows.
- Locke is making his moves to be a good guy and warm up to Jon. This is the guy that took Jaime Lannister’s (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) hand, you guys. He is a problem.
- Thorne agrees to let Jon go and kill a bunch of bad guys (because he thinks Jon will die), but he can only bring volunteers. Of course people volunteer! It’s Jon freaking Snow. Edd, Grenn and Locke are all going. Locke is going for the wrong reasons.
- They attack Craster’s Keep and start killing every dirty mutineer crow in the place.
- Locke finds Bran, Hodor and Jojen who have been taken captive and narrowly escaped peril when Jon and his friends attacked. Jon is busy slaughtering.
- Locke tries to steal Bran, but Bran wargs into Hodor and breaks Locke’s neck in a really big way.
- Bran can see Jon fighting and has to make the choice to free Summer, who’s been caged, and go find the three-eyed raven. Jon never knows how close they were, AGAIN.
- Jon fights Club-Foot Karl Tanner (Burn Gorman) in Craster’s hut. Karl’s got a really scary duel dagger situation going. He stabs Jon right in the hip. They’re well matched, except that Jon has honor and Karl spits in faces.
- One of Craster’s daughter wives who’s been brutalized too many times gets Karl in the back with a knife. Jon finishes him off with a sword right through the back of Karl’s head. Gross.
- Surveys the dead. Locke died in a crazy way. What did that?? Hmm. And, one mutineer is missing. He ran, but Ghost (who was locked up with Summer, did I forget to mention?) is free and gets him in the woods.
- Reunited with Ghost, who’s been North of the wall since Jon left with Mormont. Starks are always safer when their wolves are around.
- Burns Craster’s Keep to the ground. Goes back to Castle Black.
- Thorne makes Jon lock Ghost up. Bad. Jon wants to seal the tunnel so giants won’t go straight through, and Thorne refuses. Bad.
- Mole’s Town gets raided. Gilly and baby are there, and Sam thinks they’re dead. They’re not. Ygritte spared them. Mole’s Town raid means attack on the wall is coming.
- Two toots of the horn, and the wildling army is at the wall. Ugh.
- Two more toots. Tormund is at the gates. Okay. Let’s fight.
- Thorne goes down to defend the gates and leaves Slynt in charge at the top of the wall. But, giants and mammoths are scary and Slynt is a coward.
- Grenn tells Slynt that Thorne needs him downstairs so Jon can take command of the wall. He does. It’s awesome. He was made for this.
- Episode 9, The Watchers on the Wall, is epic. The entire episode takes place at the battle of Castle Black. Here we go.
- Wildlings are scaling the wall. Giants have giant weapons and giant strength.
- Grenn takes a few brothers to defend the inner gate of the tunnel when a giant just lifts up the outer gate. This is bad.
- Ygritte gets Pyp with an arrow. He’s dead. Olly picks up the mantle and starts shooting arrows.
- Tormund is a beast and almost kills Thorne. So close.
- Jon leaves the wall to fight on the ground.
- Edd runs the top of the wall.
- Sam frees Ghost.
- Jon goes down and is doing really well until he has to fight a giant Thenn. I hate Thenns.
- Jon and the Thenn have a brutal fight, ends with Jon taking a cue from Karl and spitting in the Thenn’s face so he can grab a giant hammer and crush his skull. Cool.
- Grenn and his men die defending the tunnel. But, they kill the giant. Yay!
- Ygritte’s aiming at Jon with her bow. He’s happy to see her. That’s weird. She hesitates just long enough for Olly to shoot an arrow right through her Jon-loving heart.
- She dies. He still knows nothing.
- Tormund is thrashing like a wild animal, but they subdue him and make him prisoner.
- Battle is won. For now. Phew.
- Aftermath. Jon has a plan to walk beyond the wall and “parlay” with Mance Rayder, but really assassinate him.
- Burn the dead. Good call.
- Jon walks into Mance’s camp. Mance isn’t super happy about Jon’s betrayal of the wildlings, but he kind of gets betrayal. They toast the dead.
- Just before Jon can try to kill him… Stannis (Stephen Dilate) shows up and starts killing everyone. He’s the only one that took the threat to the wall seriously, because Davos (Liam Cunningham) is awesome. Thanks, Davos.
- Convinces Davos and Stannis to capture Mance instead of killing him. Stannis does it out of respect for Ned Stark.
- Burn the dead. Good call.
- Tormund convinces Jon to give Ygritte a proper Northern burning beyond the wall. He burns her with love and walks away.
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SEASON FIVE
Jon takes the lead in season five. He is all about fighting the true threat, and realizes that his alliance with the wildlings is the only way to do it. He accomplishes a lot, learns a lot, and pays dearly.
- Jon meets Stannis on top of the wall under sexy gaze from Melisandre (Carice Van Houten)
- Stannis wants Jon to take the wildlings and take back Winterfell. Mance must bend the knee or Stannis will burn him in front of everyone. Jon has like half a day to convince Mance. Ugh.
- Mance is like, no way. So, Melisandre lights him up.
- Mercy kills Mance before the fire gets him. Tormund appreciates that. Olly has a problem with any wildling empathy.
- Stannis offers to make Jon the lord of Winterfell and warden of the North. So tempting. But, Jon will stay.
- Night’s Watch votes for new Lord Commander. Everyone assumes it’ll be Thorne, until Sam stands up and nominates Jon. Maester Aemon is the deciding vote.
- Becomes Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch.
- Jon tries to keep his enemies close and makes Thorne First Ranger. That eases tension a bit.
- Orders Slynt to take over Greygaurd. Slynt refuses and acts tough, even though he spent the entire Battle of Castle Black hiding next to Gilly. Jon has to exercise his power.
- Cuts Slynt’s head off himself, like Ned would. Nobody f#@ks with the Lord Commander.
- Melisandre tries to seduce him. No thanks. He’s in love with Ygritte. He knows nothing.
- Plans to unite with the wildlings. Every wildling left beyond the wall will become a member of the army of the dead. His own men hate this idea. Edd is skeptical and Olly feels fully betrayed. Maester Aemon knows Jon is right.
- Convinces Tormund to go to Hardhomme to talk leaders of clans into coming south and fighting the war against the wights together. Tormund will do it, but only if Jon comes to prove that the crows aren’t pulling a fast one.
- Will borrow ships from Stannis, who’s marching inland. Stannis leaves to take Winterfell from the Boltons.
- Leaves for Hardhomme. Tormund and Edd are with him.
- Puts Thorne in charge of the wall (Thorne is not happy about joining up with wildlings, duh) and takes a bunch of Dragon glass daggers from Sam.
- Olly asks Sam why Jon would do this. Sam says people sometimes make decisions that seem wrong but are right. Olly makes a decision of his own in that moment.
- Tormund and Jon arrive at Hardhomme. They’re met with suspicion, but the wildlings know the threat that the dead represent. The Thenns are a problem. I hate Thenns.
- 5,000 wildlings will come south with Jon. The rest, they hope will come later. Well, yeah, they will… but not the way Jon was hoping.
- Wights attack Hardhomme in a cloud of cold. Pretty sure this is the first time we see them attack in broad daylight. It’s bad, you guys. Daytime!?!
- Manages to fight off the wights thanks to Longclaw, which is Valyrian freaking steel and shatters wights like dragon glass does… he loses all of those daggers. Dammit.
- Many make it to ships. Wights don’t do water. Good to know. But they kill everyone on land.
- Sails away with survivors, including Edd, Tormund and a giant king, Wun Wun, that just walks into the water.
- Night King shows up and raises all of the new dead for Jon to see. Thousands more in the Night King’s army. Jon is terrified. So am I. I am terrified.
- Leads the wildlings back to the wall at Castle Black. Where are the ships? Why didn’t they just enter at Eastwatch? Dunno. Let’s let it go.
- Thorne hesitates to open the gate, and it looks like he won’t. Then he does.
- Wildlings walk through with Jon, into Castle Black. The brothers of the Night’s Watch are not happy. Olly is mortified.
- Sam leaves for Old Town to book learn, Davos shows up ’cause Stannis sent him away so he wouldn’t stop the burning of Shireen. Melisandre shows up after abandoning Stannis for losing. They are all important.
- Olly comes to Jon at night to report that someone wants to tell Jon about where Uncle Benjen is. Great!
- Goes down to see this person. It’s a set up. Everyone stabs him “For the Watch”. I guess Edd and Tormund and Davos are all busy? Jon isn’t a screamer unless he’s doing the killing, so that works against him. Olly stabs the death blow with tears in his eyes. C’mon Olly!!! Jon is left to die in the snow. I throw my book across the room.
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SEASON SIX
We are solidly past the books after Jon’s death. Things get weird for Jon in all the right ways. He moves on to become so much more than a Night’s Watchman and starts to fulfill his destiny as a leader of realms.
- Ghost is stuck in his pen, but alerts Davos to the death of Jon.
- Davos, Edd and Jon’s true friends move his body to his room. They free Ghost for protection and hold up in Jon’s quarters while Edd goes to get wildling back-up.
- Thorne and the other brothers behind Jon’s murder come to the door and offer a truce. Davos doesn’t buy it. Thorne will kill them all. They stay inside.
- Edd comes in with Tormund and the wildlings and rescue Jon’s crew.
- Davos wants Melisandre to bring Jon back. She’s lost faith, but agrees to try because she saw Jon fighting at Winterfell.
- Melisandre does a ritual for the Lord of Light. Nothing. Tormund is frustrated, and storms out. Everybody leaves. Ghost stays next to Jon. A long moment.
- Ghost perks up… Jon wakes up with a gasp. Don’t call it a comeback.
- Jon is shaken. That’s fair. He’s been murdered by his own brothers in his own house.
- It takes some convincing, but he gets up and goes outside. The wildlings think he’s magic. He is.
- Personally hangs his murderers. Olly has no last words, his love for Jon has turned to hate and it’s sad.
- Technically dead, Jon is free of his commitment to the Night’s Watch. He gives his cloak to Edd and makes him Lord Commander. Jon is out.
- Packing up. Sansa (Sophie Turner) shows up at Castle Black. Theon, Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) and Pod (Daniel Portman) helped her escape the Boltons. Best hug/reunion of the series. I CRIED.
- Sansa and Jon catch up. She wants to get Winterfell back. Jon is done fighting, he just got super stabbed and is currently dead.
- Ramsay Bolton (Iwan Rheon) sends a raven with a vile message about wanting Sansa back and the fact that he’s got Rickon hostage. Roose Bolton (Michael McElhatton) is dead, Ramsay’s in charge. They killed Shaggy Dog too. LEAVE THE WOLVES ALONE!!
- Decides to take Ramsay down with wildlings and the small houses of the North. Fingers crossed.
- Jon, Sansa, Tormund and Brienne set out to sway soldiers to their side. They leave Ghost behind, and I’ll never understand.
- Wildlings aren’t super keen on fighting for Jon when it’s not against the wights. That’s not what they signed up for. Tormund reminds them that Jon literally died to get them where they are. Wun Wun sways the crowd with “Snow”. He’s so eloquent, that Wun Wun. They’re in.
- Lyanna Mormont (Bella Ramsey) is the baddest broad on Bear Island. She adds all 62 of Bear Island’s fighting men to the cause. Okay… we’ll take what we can get!
- Glovers are out. Cowards.
- Sansa wants to talk to Littlefinger. Jon doesn’t take her seriously. She contacts Littlefinger behind Jon’s back.
- Pre-battle. Jon offers Ramsay one on one combat to settle this once and for all. Ramsay knows Jon will beat him and he has the numbers. Declines.
- Sansa is worried, and mad at Jon for not listening to her. They’re army isn’t enough. She warns Jon. Ramsay will get to him. Jon dismisses that too. He knows nothing.
- Battle of the Bastards begins. (Best episode of television, maybe ever) Ramsay brings Rickon out as bait. Makes Rickon run to Jon and starts shooting arrows at him.
- Takes the bait and rides toward Rickon as fast as he can. He is literally 3 seconds too late. It is one of the most gut-wrenching scenes in the show.
- Starts raging and comes at Ramsay with full force. Not the plan, but here we go. Ramsay has the upper hand. Sansa warned Jon. He knows nothing.
- Amazing, brutal fight. Ramsay’s army encircles Jon’s. They’re trapped, getting pinched between the dead and the advancing spears.
- Almost gets trampled. Almost suffocates. They’ve lost. He’s gonna die. Tormund will die. Wun Wun will die. They’ll all die.
- WHY ISN’T GHOST AT THE BATTLE OF THE BASTARDS???? Ugh.
- But Wait! The Knights of the Vale ride in and save the day! They break through Ramsay’s lines and mow down the enemy! Thanks, Sansa!!!
- Jon, Wun Wun and Tormund run toward Winterfell to get Ramsay, who’s fled.
- Ramsay closes the gates of Winterfell. Wun Wun doesn’t give a damn about gates. He breaks through and takes a whole lot of arrows. Ramsay’s last arrow to the eyeball finally kills him. The last of the giants is dead. It is so sad. And it makes Jon SO mad.
- Ramsay now wants a one-on-one fight. Oh, sure. He’s at point-blank range with a bow and arrow. Jon doesn’t care. He grabs a shield and goes right at the jerk.
- Blocks every arrow with the shield, knocks Ramsay down and beats the hell out of him. Then he stops. Ramsay isn’t his to kill. He’ll save him for Sansa. Boss.
- Stark banners fly again in Winterfell. I cry.
- Sansa let’s Ramsay’s dogs eat him alive, and she smiles as she walks away. This isn’t about Jon, it’s just so good and so important I couldn’t let it go.
- Becomes Lord of Winterfell? He’s still a bastard. And, he’s the undead. Sansa is lady of Winterfell.
- Davos finds the burnt remains of the stag he carved for Shireen and knows Melisandre burned her. He tells Jon.
- Confronts Melisandre, who admits to burning a child alive. Jon sends her away and tells her he’ll kill her if she comes back. She leaves.
- White Ravens fly. Winter is here. Jon and Sansa are into that.
- Northern Lords gather at Winterfell. Lyanna Mormont dresses all the old men down for failing the North and the Starks. They all apologize. It’s great.
- KING IN THE NORTH! KING IN THE NORTH! KING IN THE NORTH!
- Bran, who is heavy into three-eyed-ravening, touches a tree and sees that Jon is the son of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen.
RELATED: GAME OF THRONES Character Recap: Daenerys Targaryen, Seasons 1-7
SEASON SEVEN
Season seven goes fast. Jon is king, he’s got responsibilities and he knows his purpose. All he has to do is convince everybody else to stop quibbling over a dumb spikey sword chair. Easy. Right?
- Winterfell. Jon will arm and train every able-bodied boy, girl, man and woman. The whole of the North will fight the dead. YES.
- Makes Umbers and Karstarks banner men again, after they betrayed the Starks and served the Boltons. The fathers did that. Their children shouldn’t pay. We’ll see. Sansa disagrees. He knows nothing.
- Invitation from Dragonstone, from Tyrion. Sansa thinks it’s a trick. But Tyrion writes “All dwarves are bastards in their father’s eyes” Jon knows it’s real. But he won’t go.
- Sam sends word that there is a boatload of dragon glass at Dragonstone. Okay, he’ll go. Sansa’s in charge.
- Davos joins him. They get to Dragonstone. Tyrion and Jon like each other. The dragons are crazy awesome.
- Davos is terrible at introductions. Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is not impressed by Jon. Or is she?
- Daenerys wants Jon to bend the knee. He won’t. He’s not beholden to old oaths and she is not her father, but they need each other’s help.
- Explains that the army of the dead are coming. Daenerys doesn’t buy it. Tyrion kind of does.
- She’s not happy that Jon’s knee is straight. She keeps Jon and Davos. But, they aren’t prisoners yet. That didn’t go great.
- Asks, through Tyrion, to mine dragon glass. Fine. Daenerys meets him outside and she allows him to take the dragon glass, with her man power and resources. Nice.
- Shows Daenerys the cave paintings of the Children of the Forest and the First Men fighting the wights together. See!?! He’s not crazy!! She still wants him to bend the knee. He still won’t. He knows nothing.
- He’s allowed to go get a walker to prove to Cersei that they exist. It’s the only way for all of the living to come together against the dead.
- Leaves for Eastwatch by the Sea with Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen) (who’s cured from Greyscale), Gendry (Joe Dempsie) (who was retrieved by Davos) and Davos.
- Arrive at Eastwatch where Tormund and the wildlings have been running things since the aftermath of the Battle of the Bastards. Tormund thinks they’re crazy.
- Beric Dondarrion (Richard Dormer), the Hound (Rory McCann) and Thoros of Myr (Paul Kaye) are in a cell. They also need to go North to fight the army of the dead. The Lord of Light told them to go. Well, come on then!
- Jon, Jorah, Beric, The Hound, Thoros, Gendry and Tormund go beyond the wall. Davos stays behind.
- They find a wight, and tie it up… but it triggers the whole army of the dead to come looking for them.
- They manage to run to an island, and as the dead advance, they break the ice around it… can’t cross the water. That’s good. But, they’re trapped. That’s bad.
- They’re there awhile. Thoros dies. They burn him with Lightbringer. Is that actually Lightbringer? Let’s go with it.
- The Hound does a dumb thing and throws a rock on re-formed ice, and the dead advance.
- Daenerys comes in with all three dragons, fire and awesomeness.
- The Night King spears Viserion. Dragons have SO MUCH blood in them! He goes down.
- Everyone gets on Drogon’s back, but Jon. We can’t lose another dragon, and Jon can’t ride one until he fulfills his destiny and rides the dragon named for his father. I mean, right?
- They fly away just in time. Jon is left behind.
- Falls through the ice and almost drowns in a lot of fur and armor.
- Gets out of ice. Don’t ask me how. It just happened and we’re glad he’s okay.
- It looks real bad. There’s nowhere to go.
- But Wait! Benjen, aka Cold Hands comes in with his twirling fire ball weapon and saves the day!
- Benjen throws Jon on his undead horse, sends them away and sacrifices himself. YAY STARKS!
- Jon shows up at the wall in bad shape.
- Recovering in a ship on the way to King’s Landing, Daenerys is sad. She lost a dragon. He’s in love with her by now. He bends the knee… figuratively…. from bed… shirtless.
- Dragon pits. Everyone is together again. It’s great, but not. They show Cersei the wight, she agrees that it’s a little bit of a problem. Asks Jon to bend the knee… he’s too much Ned and won’t lie. His knee is already bent to the Dragon Queen. He knows nothing. Cersei calls it off.
- Tyrion has to clean up Jon’s mess. He gets Cersei back and she pledges her armies to go North with Jon’s and Daenerys’. This is great news!!! Nope. It’s fake news. He knows nothing.
- Joins Daenerys in her cabin and they get to sexing.
- We hear Sam (who’s done so much good book learning) and Bran talking about how Daenerys is Jon’s aunt. Gross.
- Jon is the true born son of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen and the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. Awesome!!
Game of Thrones season 8 premieres April 14th. Let’s get some dire wolf, dragon-riding, Targaryen heir to the throne in the North action!!
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