DISCLAIMER: This recap of the Doom Patrol episode “Undead Patrol” is riddled with spoilers. Proceed at your peril.
Welcome back, residents of Doom Manor! This week’s episode of Doom Patrol gets spooky in more ways than one: a creepy Sisterhood of Dada hypnosis film, zombies, Were-butts and cannibalism. This might become a new Halloween tradition for me.
Darren Jones transforming into a Were-butt feels like poetic justice only this show can dole out. “Undead Patrol” plays with horror tropes in an innovative way. It’s fun, campy, delightfully weird, macabre and boasts its signature dark humor. I love this show so much.
In addition, the return of Willoughby Kipling makes me wish we had a Knights Templar series. Well, one starring him, anyway.
Ready to delve into “Undead Patrol”? Let’s get to it.
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We open with Willoughby Kipling (Mark Sheppard) sitting in a hotel room with none other than the Chief’s decapitated head. It’s super cute.
Willoughby casts a spell, so the Chief’s voice (Timothy Dalton) emits from his dead head. Then, Willoughby summons Baphomet and pretends to speak as the Chief while gently prodding her to unveil her feelings for him. However, Baphomet doesn’t fall for the trick and realizes she’s talking to Willoughby.
Next, a mysterious unwanted visitor stops by Willoughby’s hotel room. All we see is a shadow.
Meanwhile, Laura De Mille, a.k.a. Madame Rouge (Michelle Gomez), continues to drink tea with Cliff (Brendan Fraser/Riley Shanahan), Jane (Diane Guerrero), Vic (Joivan Wade), Larry (Matt Bomer/Matthew Zuk) and Rita (April Bowlby). Naturally, our gang’s bewildered by Laura’s presence. Laura asserts she’s suffering from memory loss and has no clue who she is or why she must seek out Niles Caulder, but she did arrive in Cloverton using a time machine.
Cliff, ever the realist, refuses to believe in time machines. That is until Laura shows the crew hers. Oh, and amid all the confusion, everyone won’t stop scratching themselves.
Next, the Doom Patrol learns that Rita received the signal heralding Laura’s arrival the day before leaving for the mountain resort. Cliff spills the beans regarding the Chief’s death, so Laura pops in her machine with the intent to travel back in time. Laura decides to travel back seven weeks in time after ensuring her entrance doesn’t coincide with the sex ghosts fiasco.
However, Rita spots Laura’s flight suit with a logo featuring the Brotherhood of Evil’s Brain. Rita also recognizes it as the same suit time-traveling Rita was donning right before Garguax’s henchman killed her. She plucks off a piece of the time machine, rendering it inoperable.
Then, the machine fails to start. Laura enlists Vic’s aid in getting it up and running again. Cliff reminds Jane about their vow to seek help for their “sh*t.” I love their friendship and their commitment to taking care of themselves. That’s called growth and self-care, friends.
Meanwhile, Larry races upstairs to his room to vomit blue liquid. That can’t be good.
Cliff speaks to a doctor via virtual session. He’s worried he might have Parkinson’s disease. But the doctor instantly dismisses him as a “TikToker.” We see a strange spot form on Cliff’s metal forehead.
Jane constructs a straw version of Chief while outside, and we see a fly land on her face. Vic pulls up his sleeve to find a nasty gash on his forearm. Silas (Phil Morris) finds his son tinkering away on Laura’s time machine.
Vic seizes the moment to confront his father following his eye-opening discussion with his mom in purgatory. Was there another way to save Vic besides the cyber tech? Silas confesses that S.T.A.R. Labs was working on synthetic skin, but he insists he only did what he thought was best for his kid.
Right now, Silas is paying for Vic’s decision to abet Roni Evers, and S.T.A.R. Labs put him on leave.
Next, Rita shows Laura the device emitting the signal. After Rita irritates Laura for a spell, we see Laura unlock a secret compartment — a chessboard moves aside to reveal an old school film canister. Hot dog!
Then, Cliff finds Jane with her straw version of Chief. He urges her to talk to it — say everything she never got to say when the Chief was alive. I love that Doom Patrol isn’t steamrolling over the team’s grief, namely Jane’s.
But first: time to light one (a joint) up.
Later, Rita spots Larry tending to his garden. She discloses her discovery from the mountain resort and now, but Larry’s more preoccupied with him dying. He reveals he’s vomiting blue liquid, probably a horrid side effect from the Negative Spirit vacating his body.
He tells Rita he’s dying, but she won’t have it. We see spots take shape on Rita’s face and Larry’s bandages. Rita inexplicably licks Larry’s bandages, citing that he smells delightful.
Laura watches the film, starring Shelley Byron, a.k.a. The Fog (Wynn Everett), petting a cat. The Sisterhood of Dada presents the said film. Back outside, Vic finds his skin peels off with ease. Rita brushes her teeth, and the spots become more prominent — like skin deteriorating. She cries for Larry, but he takes a tumble down the stairs. Jane pukes worms, and she and Cliff transform into zombies.
Shelley Byron unexpectedly hypnotizes Laura through the film, and she erupts into a carefully choreographed dance. Afterward, she notices the cat transform into a bird, which then morphs into, well, her. She’s Laura De Mille, and she can shapeshift.
However, she eagerly divulges to the group she’s a bird.
Suddenly, our Doom Patrol lurches toward her, and they’re undead. That’s when Willoughby swoops in to save the day. He can speak “zombie.”
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So, the consensus is the spider lady from Hell’s venom changed them into zombies.
Then, Willoughby plays a videotape for everyone. Darren Jones (Jon Briddell), a former agent for the Bureau of Normalcy, delivers an off-kilter ransom speech, demanding the gang comply or Niles’ head gets it!
Willoughby only nicked the Chief’s head, to begin with, because of the decades of stored “arcane knowledge” dwelling inside it. Laura wants the Chief’s noggin so she can figure out who she is.
Next, they decide to meet with Darren for the head. Willoughby and Laur boast half of the air freshener inside James Dean‘s car the night he died to mask the scent of their brains. After Willoughby creates a tear in the air from his lit cigarette, our part-human, part-undead crew winds up by a barn.
Meanwhile, Darren arrives with the Chief’s noggin in a bag. He laments about his family leaving him and the Doom Patrol costing him his cushy job. But guess what? The man obsessed over eradicating the abnormal is now quite unusual himself — he transforms into a Were-butt!
Or, as Zombie Jane succinctly puts it, “a motherfudging Were-butt!”
Naturally, Darren Were-butt ushers the rest of his Were-butt buddies into the fold, and our zombie gang puts up a fight. Before heading inside, Willoughby gave Laura petrified dragon piss, and she’s supposed to toss it at Darren’s head, so it explodes.
However, she’s outside attempting to transform into a bird. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work, and she morphs into a footstool, which sends her crashing through the roof into the undead/Were-butt melee below.
Jane discovers one way to destroy the Were-butts: devour them. Yes, Jane is eating ass, and that’s the way it goes when you’re a zombie. Willoughby procures a fiery blade, Larry takes the Were-butts to task with a chainsaw, and Vic and Cliff rip them apart.
Once the Were-butts are effectively defeated, Willoughby snatches the sack housing the Chief’s head. He and Laura realize their James Dean air fresheners are gone, so they race through the cigarette portal home, so their zombie pals don’t eat their brains.
While chatting with the Chief’s head, Laura and Willoughby learn that human brains possess a rare chemical that cures the zombie disease, hence why the undead crave them. He suggests they feed his head to the Doom Patrol, much to Willoughby’s dismay, and Laura agrees to do it.
Willoughby and Chief bid each other farewell. Before Willoughby departs, the Chief tells him that Baphomet loves him. Be direct with her!
Finally, Laura asks the Chief for answers regarding her identity. The Chief vehemently reveals his hatred of her and that she’s a baddie. He strikes an ultimatum: if Laura presents his head to the Undead Patrol for consumption, then he’ll let her take the files he has on her. Then, she must promise to steer clear of the Chief’s people.
Next, Laura leads our zombies into a room with the Chief’s noggin. Zombie Jane cradles the Chief and reveals she has much to say to him. But the Chief tells Jane he loves her and that it’s okay. He encourages them all to eat him.
And they do.
Later, Rita makes mouthwash cocktails for the bunch. Now that everyone’s back to normal, they’d like to forget their time as zombies. Cliff wonders aloud whether they’re cannibals, even though he’d have to consume a car to be one himself.
Laura reads a letter the Chief sent in the 1940s regarding Laura. At that time, he believed she was truly cancerous and needed to be “terminated.”
Jane sets the straw version of Chief on fire, which is a sweet gesture considering what Cliff told her earlier about refusing to set the Chief’s body ablaze.
Cliff completes a diagnosis checklist for Parkinson’s and discovers he can order pills online without a prescription.
Larry finds an alarmingly large mass in his stomach, and continues to vomit blue liquid.
Vic wonders what it would be like to have synthetic skin instead of cybernetics, holding a reflective tray up to his face while doing so.
Meanwhile, Rita finds Laura watching the Sisterhood of Dada film again. Laura’s crying, so Rita offers her some cookies. After Rita leaves, Laura notices, well, Rita in the film.
World-renowned time traveler, folks!
Back at the barn, one of the Were-butts flees the scene, making a beeline for Cloverton. Perhaps it’s Darren?
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Michelle Gomez fits in perfectly with our gang, providing her usual Scottish snark and cheekiness (not like the Were-butts). She even imbues Laura with tenderness and vulnerability. I’m curious to see whether she fully regains her memories at some point.
This show is one giant metaphor for mental health, and the ways Doom Patrol explores it are fascinating. May we always get Were-butts and sex ghosts.
New episodes of Doom Patrol are available to stream Thursdays on HBO Max.
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
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