DISCLAIMER: This recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode “The Takeback” contains more spoilers than the number of duets sung by Jake and Doug Judy during a karaoke session. The world must never be deprived of Judy’s angelic vocals. You’ve been warned. Proceed with caution.
Welcome back, Nine-Niners! Brooklyn Nine-Nine blessed us this week with the return of the Pontiac Bandit a.k.a. Doug Judy! Jake embarked on a trip to Miami to celebrate Judy’s impending nuptials. Our favorite star-crossed duo took the city by storm with karaoke, reverse heists and Russian oligarchs aplenty. Meanwhile, Holt was reinstated as captain of the Nine-Nine, and his first day was an interesting one. In true Holt fashion, he ensured that his office was left exactly how it was prior to his demotion. Every object had specific coordinates and measurements. You know, otherwise the feng shui is thrown off kilter or something. Scully and Hitchcock were excited about vending machines because…Scully and Hitchcock.
Alright, ready to delve into “The Takeback?” Let’s get to it.
Now, we open with Rosa (Stephanie Beatriz) summoning Jake (Andy Samberg) to the interrogation room for an emergency. Apparently, the criminal within has an invitation to Doug Judy’s wedding…but Jake wasn’t invited. Thus, Jake goes all Jakey stylez and grills the felon for information regarding the nuptials. Later, we see Judy (Craig Robinson) and Jake reunited for a rousing pottery session at a crafts store. Judy reveals that he didn’t send Jake an RSVP because the former’s friends are criminals. Having a cop show up would make things awkward, to say the least. Instead, Judy extends an invitation to his bachelor party in Miami. Jake eagerly accepts.
Meanwhile, Rosa and Terry (Terry Crews) are hard at work restoring Holt’s office to its original state. Not a thing must be out of place. Holt (Andre Braugher) enters the office donning his captain regalia. Dadptain is back! Firstly, he takes note of his Cheddar figurine being slightly off kilter. Then, he notices that a business card with a wad of gum adhered to it is missing. He explains that said card is of the utmost importance to him. Terry reveals to Rosa that he disposed of it since it looked like trash, so they scramble to find the card.
Next, Jake and Judy are standing in front of the latter’s private jet. Judy is on the legitimate side of things now, abiding by the law and doing it all by the book. We see that the jet is on loan from Mark Cuban, who appears and gives Judy a bear hug. Now, Jake crafts an alias so as not to rouse suspicion in Judy’s criminal friends. Jake goes by the name of Sean, and he was in jail for five years for elder abuse. That’s pretty hard, Jakey.
Then, we see Amy (Melissa Fumero) and Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio) discussing the merits of adding a new vending machine to the break room. Hitchcock (Dirk Blocker) and Scully (Joel McKinnon Miller) flock to them like moths to the flame. They have grand ideas for specific models/makes of the best vending machines money can buy. Oh, to be like Hitchcock and Scully and only think about food. Wait…I already do.
Now, our boys arrive in Miami after a relaxing flight aboard Mark Cuban’s private jet. Judy and his crew are dressed to the nines as they exit the plane. When they arrive at their hotel room, Trudy Judy (Nicole Byer) is already present, much to Judy’s chagrin. Trudy is appalled to see Jake with her brother, but Judy urges her to keep Jake’s identity a secret from his friends. Trudy acquiesces, but only if she gets to see the appropriate amount of butts at this shindig. The trio settle on 14 butts, which seems like a reasonable number.
Meanwhile, Terry had a photo saved of the original business card on Holt’s desk. He zooms in on it and creates a series of fake cards. Terry puts chewing gum wads of various shades on each one. Rosa peruses the slew of cards and picks the one that best resembles the picture on Terry’s phone. Holt will know, y’all. Holt will know.
Next, Amy hears Boyle’s case for a vending machine that solely has seafood cakes. Well, mainly of the octopus variety. Ick. Then, Hitchcock and Scully present her with a scripted scene that supports their desire for the latest and greatest in vending machine technology. It’s a holy device that heats up frozen pizzas. Hitchcock and Scully will reach the peak of snacking. They shall become more powerful than we ever could have imagined. Amy settles on Hitchcock and Scully’s idea.
Later, after a thrilling karaoke session wherein Jake and Judy serenaded the crew, we learn that Judy’s criminal buddies stole 10 millions dollars worth of diamonds from a Russian oligarch. Jake gives away his detective status, so the crew dispose of his phone in a glass of water. You know, so he can’t call for backup. However, Judy convinces Jake to allow his friends to return the diamonds in lieu of not calling for reinforcements. Jake agrees to this, and dubs it a “reverse heist.” Coming soon to a theater near you!
Now, Terry gives Holt the decoy business card, and the latter instantly knows it’s fake. How? Because the original had a message scrawled on the back. Holt reveals he kept the card for the past three decades, as a reminder of what made him the captain he is today. Apparently, the card was from a victim of a case Holt failed to solve. He utilizes it for motivational purposes – to always strive for excellence and success. Way to go, Terry!
Meanwhile, Jake leads the crew through the mechanics behind the reverse heist. We see Jake pretending to be a social media star throwing a temper tantrum. Then, the front desk receptionist leaves her post to flag down her manager, thus leaving the computer there unattended. Trudy dresses as a maid and houses Jake underneath her cart. She causes a distraction for the Russian oligarch, so Jake and Judy can hack the safe and switch out the diamonds. Success! Reverse heist goes off without a hitch.
Later, Amy and Boyle are observing Hitchcock and Scully as the latter are gazing lovingly at the new vending machine. Suddenly, the machine cuts out the electricity in the bullpen. They were heating up their frozen pizza, but apparently it was too much power for one machine to handle. Hitchcock and Scully are heartbroken. I would be too. Pizza is no joke.
Next, the Miami crew are partying it up. Trudy has her butts, and thus she is content. Suddenly, the police swarm into their hotel room. Jake orders them to arrest Judy’s friends, leaving Judy and Trudy safe. Judy is irate that Jake would forsake him like this. He couldn’t stop copping, because cops be copping. Jake reveals that, amid the reverse heist, he surreptitiously called for reinforcements. Judy and Trudy decide to take their private jet home and leave Jake to go the commercial route.
Meanwhile, Terry and Rosa shower Holt with a horde of business cards from cases that were successfully solved. Terry urges Holt to utilize said success stories as fuel to be the best captain he can be. Focus on the positives. Holt has done incredible work over the course of his lengthy career. Aw. This warms up my cold, blackened heart. Then, Amy and Boyle cheer up the Wing Warriors in the break room. Boyle reveals a nifty trick – you can smack the side of the current vending machine and receive free snacks. Hitchcock and Scully instantly perk up. Honestly, I think I relate with Hitchcock and Scully more than anyone on the squad.
Later, Rosa summons Jake to the interrogation room once again. She procures an invite to Judy’s wedding…but this time, it’s for him and Amy. We see Judy is sitting on the other side of the glass. Surprise! He reveals that this was his plan all along. Judy wanted Jake to think he wasn’t invited. The whole party, Judy’s friends stealing the diamonds, Jake calling for reinforcements – it was all a ruse that went according to the former’s plan. Then, we see that the pottery Judy was painting earlier in the episode contained at message at the bottom. It asks Jake to be Judy’s best man at the wedding. Jake eagerly accepts this, and our favorite cop/criminal besties are stronger than ever.
Thank the Powers that Be for Doug Judy’s return! Some of my favorite Brooklyn Nine-Nine episodes are Pontiac Bandit/Jake-centric, so “The Takeback” tickled me pink. Trudy is a great addition to the gang, and Byer was just as hysterical as Robinson and Samberg this time around. Here’s hoping we get to see Judy’s wedding at some point in the remainder of Season 7!
Do you think Judy’s wedding will happen before the season ends? Will we get some pregnancy-centric moments amid the last five episodes? How will Hitchcock and Scully recover from their devastating vending machine loss? Join me next time as I recap Brooklyn Nine-Nine, here on Geek Girl Authority.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine airs Thursdays at 8:30pm on your NBC affiliate.
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