Thank you to Peachtree Teen/Peachtree for a copy of Things I’ll Never Say in exchange for an honest review.
Summary
Ten years ago, the Scar Squad promised each other nothing would tear them apart. Even when Casey Jones Caruso lost her twin brother Sammy to an overdose, and their foursome became a threesome, the squad picked each other up. But when Casey’s feelings for the remaining members — Francesca and Benjamin — develop into romantic attraction, she worries the truth will dissolve them.
Casey tries to ignore her heart until Ben kisses her at a summer party, and Frankie kisses another girl. Now Casey must confront all the complicated feelings she’s buried — for her friends and for the brother she’s totally pissed at for dying. Since Sammy’s death, Casey has spilled all the things she can no longer say to him in journals, and now more than ever, she wishes he were here to help her decide whether she should guard her heart or bet it all on love before someone else decides for her.
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Good grief
It’s hard to say I enjoyed Cassandra Newbould’s Things I’ll Never Say, which isn’t to say I regret reading it or think it’s a bad book. No. This book is hard to read and so immense in its exploration of grief that I simultaneously had to keep it at arm’s length and couldn’t take my eyes away.
Things I’ll Never Say is an epistolary novel, unfolding in a journal of letters from the protagonist to her late brother (interspersed with poems). I’m unsure if the rigid structure was necessary or always works to the book’s advantage. At times, the inconsistency with which Casey hides things because “ew, I don’t want to tell my brother” reads more like Cassandra Newbould’s comfortability (or lack thereof). But that’s fine.
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The journaling format works wonderfully in other ways, though. It’s a great excuse to elide chunks of Casey’s life and have her share them later or not at all. To misuse a phrase, her unreliability as a narrator has “plot armor.” This epistolary storytelling also shines in that it allows Casey’s self-reflection to feel more natural. When she’s able to call out her internalized fatphobia, for example, ostensibly, Casey has had time to let this marinate and breathe. She’s not just amazingly the world’s most in-tune person.
How Casey deals with the death of her twin feels messy and real. I would have liked more exploration into some of the darker elements, however. There’s more going on in Things I’ll Never Say than the love triangle the summary focuses on. That said, I adored the resolution to said love triangle.
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Should you read it?
Yes. With the caveat that you need to be in the mental space to read about death, grief and substance abuse. The opioid epidemic in the US is ongoing and deserves more attention. As a culture, we tend to shy away from difficult topics, and Cassandra Newbould tackles several head-on in Things I’ll Never Say. This feels like it’d be a good classroom book, one where teens could be guided and allowed to talk through it.
Things I’ll Never Say is out on June 06, 2023. Pick up a copy at your local indie bookstore or library. 📚🏄♀️
https://www.geekgirlauthority.com/book-review-mortal-follies-alexis-all/
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