Throwing myself into well-established works I know nothing about is one of my favorite activities, so I thought it would be fun to dive into the world of Pokémon with limited knowledge. Here, I select the 10 coolest Pokémon based on what I remember from my childhood and information I gathered from Pokémon Database’s Pokédex.
Methodology
I didn’t realize there are more than 1,000 Pokémon. To start narrowing down my search for “the coolest,” I began with the little pocket monsters whose names I found most intriguing or those I thought were most aesthetically pleasing. From there, I looked at their powers and stats to decide which were “worthy” of this “best of” list.
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Pokémon Background
I’ve never played Pokémon beyond a two-hour stint of Pokémon Go when it first came out. My brother convinced me to play Pokémon Snap back in the day, and I enjoyed taking pretty pictures. Said brother also watched the Pokémon anime series on Toonami, but my only investment was Sailor Moon, so I never really paid attention to “his” show. All this to say, I’ve never really played. And if anything, I only know about the Series 1 dudes.
Now, without further ado, here are the 10 coolest Pokémon, according to someone who’s never played.
10. Slowking
How could a slow king not make it onto my top 10 coolest Pokémon list? Slowking is a psychic Pokémon because, of course, it is. (I’m sure it reads Pokémon tarot if such a thing exists.) On top of being a psychic, Slowking is apparently oblivious. As in, that’s one of its skills. Mind you, I don’t know what Pokéskills are precisely, but it seems fitting that a slow king would be oblivious.
Before becoming Slowking, it is Slowpoke. Sometimes, a Slowpoke turns into a Slowbro. Ha!
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9. Chandelure
Sometimes, the namers of the Pokémon are incredibly creative, and sometimes, they seem to just give up. Chandelure is an example of the latter. This guy looks like a chandelier, and it lures others in. You just have to respect simplicity.
8. Metapod
When I told my boyfriend I was writing this article, he laughed and told me about Metapod. Then he showed me a clip from the Pokémon anime where two trainers try to battle using their Metapods. This Pokémon has one skill — something called “harden,” which I guess works OK as a defensive move, but Metapod literally cannot do anything but sit there. It makes sense: a Metapod is a chrysalis stuck between Caterpie and Butterfee while it waits to evolve. Very meta. (Also, it’s got no mouth, but it can say its name?)
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7. Dipplin
Dipplin is literally a “Candy Apple Pokémon.” How cool and strange is that? Its abilities are “supersweet syrup” and “gluttony,” and it is very good at defense and sneak attacks. There’s something almost macabre about Dipplin’s existence — maybe because we tend to eat candy apples around Halloween? Do other Pokémon eat it? Do the trainers?
Even strangers, Dipplin evolves into a line of dragon Pokémon, one of which is an apple pie dragon! WTF?!
6. Pikachu
Yes. Part of me picked Pikachu for the list of coolest Pokémon because it’s the most famous, the one everyone knows. However, other factors influenced my decision. Pikachu is adorable, fast, and a mouse! Its evolution forms are also sweet-looking. Plus, lightning!
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5. Woobat
This aptly and comically named one is listed as a “flying, psychic, unaware klutz.” Maybe Woobat is just misunderstood! In any case, I feel bad for the little dude. Perhaps it’d be less clumsy if it received some love? Not that being clumsy’s bad, per se, but it could hurt itself. Besides, bats are nocturnal, and most Pokébattles occur during the day. Of course it’s a klutz!
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Although, according to my boyfriend, there is some benefit to being “unaware.” I’m not buying it. It sounds like a rude and unfair descriptor to a layperson like me.
4. Wooper
Wooper looks like an axolotl.
3. Eevee
Eevee is a very clever little creature. It’s also so darn cute! Besides having the ability to run away and being highly adaptable, Eevee has the secret skill of anticipation. That’d come in handy. Eevee’s name comes from the abbreviation “EV,” short for “evolution,” an accurate descriptor. Eevee has eight impressive-looking high-forms.
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Doesn’t hurt that Eevee is one of my bro’s favorite pocket monster, and I’m a sucker for nostalgia.
2. Bayleef
Hold up. Do you mean to tell me there is a Pokémon called Bayleef? Bayleef. Get out of town. Apparently, one of its core abilities is to overgrow. Real-life bay leaf trees don’t overgrow exactly, but they can get pretty tall. Bay leaves are said to have medicinal properties; Bayleef’s aroma has healing properties. While bay leaf plants do have male and female trees, I couldn’t find out whether they are overwhelmingly male, like Bayleef. Am-a-zing.
1. Vaporeon
The coolest — no pun intended — Pokémon is Vaporeon. Vaporeon is one of Eevee’s evolved forms, and this one’s hidden skill is hydration. Everyone needs to stay hydrated and if a cute little pocket monster can help you with that, then it’s worthy of taking the number one spot in my book. Vaporeon’s primary skill is water absorption, which must be how it has water to hydrate you later. Saving you from drowning and dehydration? What can’t Vaporeon do!? I want a Vaporeon, and I don’t even own anything related to the Pokéworld!
Also, Vaporeon resembles a dog-mermaid.
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The world of Pokémon appears to be full of whimsy, and even as someone who’s only had tangential experience with it, learning about them and picking my favorites proved to be a lot of fun. Do aficionados out there agree with my choices? Which pocket monsters would you choose to fill out your top 10 coolest? Let us know in the comments below.
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