FOX’s Animal Control is back with more snarky one-liners, lighthearted comedy and animal hijinks. Let’s face it — we desperately need it.
This show crept up on me last year with its low-stakes, genuinely funny and wholesome brand of humor. I don’t know about you, but we need more series like this on TV. Don’t get me wrong; I love a heavy-hitting, mind-bending genre show that delivers plenty of emotional upheaval. However, good TV is like The Force: it craves balance.
In honor of the comedy’s return, I’ve compiled a list of my favorite quotes from Season 2 Episode 1, “Raccoons and Mutts.”
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VICTORIA: “She’s doing all of the hard work. What are you pushing out of your vagina?”
PATEL: “She booked none of this. No planning. The hotel, the zip line, the massages — that was all me. I need a vacation. This pregnancy is killing me.”
I love Patel’s (Ravi V. Patel) and Victoria’s (Grace Palmer) dynamic. It’s easily one of my favorite aspects of Animal Control. Palmer’s deadpan delivery, coupled with Patel’s high-octane yet war-weary spiraling, scratches that specific comedy trope itch for me.
Patel makes his wife’s pregnancy about him, which is very in character for our favorite jaded dad. He’s not birthing a whole human baby but a tropical vacation, which is indisputably a more challenging feat (I kid).
SHRED: “I don’t like to use the ‘l’ word, but right now, both of your pants are on fire.”
Shred (Michael Rowland), like Emily (Vella Lovell), is sunshine personified. His not wanting to say “liar” out loud is utterly adorable. Apparently, the “f” word is fair game, though. (“Fire,” you weirdos.)
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PATEL [to VICTORIA]: “There aren’t supposed to be any secrets in the cab. I shared my colonoscopy results with you.”
FRANK: “You shared that with everyone. At lunch. In color.”
PATEL: “You all had to go through the prep with me. I owed you the payoff.”
What’s said in the cab stays in the cab. It’s like a confessional. It’s also a safe space to share our colonoscopy results with Victoria. Of course, Frank (Joel McHale) has to chime in with a reminder that Patel disclosed his results to everyone. No polyps! What a payoff.
TEMPLETON: “There’s only one opinion that matters to me, and that’s the guy in the mirror. And he gives me a thumbs up and, sometimes, a kiss.”
Templeton (Gerry Dee) might be the archnemesis of our heroes, but his self-confidence is admirable. May we all learn to value our opinions of ourselves, give ourselves a thumbs up in the mirror, and, occasionally, a sweet kiss.
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EMILY: “It wasn’t on my plate. Wait, Bettany, it wasn’t on my plate. I didn’t have a plate.”
Bettany (Krystal Smith) is Emily’s new assistant, and she loves going above above and beyond. (I’m warming up to Bettany, but … #WheresDolores.) Bettany decides to “take care” of Emily’s superior, who sent our fave director hurtling headfirst into an existential crisis.
This isn’t a particularly chuckle-inducing line on paper, but Lovell’s delivery cracks me up. It elevates this quote.
Well, Emily might not have a plate; however, I have about 50, so if she wants one of mine, she’s free to have it.
FRANK: “She literally crawled out of my four-story window. I don’t even know if she survived.”
Joel McHale is one of the kings of comedy regarding line delivery. There’s also nobody better at playing a sardonic yet endearing asshole. Sure, Frank feels like Jeff Winger 2.0, but that’s what I want from McHale.
Anyway, this quote makes me giggle. It’s the ludicrous idea of someone scrambling out of an apartment window four floors up just to get out of a date. Sarah Chalke is a sitcom legend, and I hope this isn’t the last we see of Yazmin.
SHRED: “It’s officially Frank’s Day. What do you want to do?”
FRANK: “Well, let’s drive off the next bridge we pass.”
Hey, at least Frank didn’t decide to film himself jumping off a bridge while his friends watched for his special day. He’s no Country Mac.
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PATEL: “I’ll help you.”
VICTORIA: “Oh, wait, you guys were in World War II?”
PATEL: “We’ll all help you.”
This quote is simultaneously hilarious and wholesome. I can’t wait to watch the gang help Victoria prep for her citizenship test. She should wear a basketball jersey for her test like a certain vampire from Staten Island… (C’mon, my comedy babies, you know this reference.)
What are your favorite quotes from the Animal Control Season 2 premiere? Sound off in the comments!
Animal Control airs new episodes every Wednesday at 9/8c on FOX, with next-day streaming on Hulu.
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
Who I am: Before moving to Los Angeles after studying theater in college, I was born and raised in Amish country, Ohio. No, I am not Amish, even if I sometimes sport a modest bonnet.
Bylines in: Tell-Tale TV, Culturess, Sideshow Collectibles, and inkMend on Medium.
Critic: Rotten Tomatoes, CherryPicks, and the Hollywood Creative Alliance.
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