Another week, another quote-worthy Abbott Elementary episode. The season finale, “Party,” is one of the show’s best episodes. It’s hilarious from start to finish, firing on all cylinders on the joke front. However, the most significant development from this outing is the Granine of it all. That’s right — like Sea Barbara captaining her vessel, our favorite ship has finally set sail.
“Party” artfully brings everyone together for a fun blowout that finds Janine being, well, pure, unadulterated Janine. It’s perfect. Of course she would orchestrate a party that caters to everyone’s respective interests. For the record, I’d place myself in the “Socially Awkward But Trying” section. On another note, I need a Garden Goofballs t-shirt. Do your thing, Etsy sellers.
Below, I’ve compiled a list of quotes I loved from Season 3, Episode 14 of Abbott Elementary. Class is in session!
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A Joy What?
JANINE: “Look, while that offer has the power to give me a joy stroke–”
GREGORY: “Mmhm, don’t say that.”
JANINE: “Why not?”
GREGORY: “It doesn’t mean what you think it means.”
Like Janine (Quinta Brunson), I had never heard of “joy stroke.” However, upon hearing this quote, the term makes so much sense. I didn’t have to look it up. Hell, I was afraid to look it up. I imagine poor Gregory (Tyler James Williams) tries to explain it to Janine later because I’m sure not knowing the definition eats her up inside.
ERIKA: “You hold right there. Young, ethnic Adam Sandler.”
SIMON: “Ah-shoo-ba-de-bee!”
You know what? I was rooting for Erika (Courtney Taylor) and Simon (Benjamin Norris) and was devastated to learn they broke up by the end of the party. This exchange made me giggle. Look at our young, ethnic Adam Sandler, who owns a condo he can’t afford and is well-chained, to boot.
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Sum Forty-Fun
JANINE [upon hearing Sum 41’s “Fat Lip”]: “What the hell? It’s not time for white bops yet.”
Nobody at this party will waste their time becoming another casualty of society! Janine’s shock at the premature playing of “white bops” is laugh-out-loud-worthy. That said, who can resist blasting Sum 41 when the dance floor needs cleaning up (and Mr. Johnson forgot his mop)?
MR. JOHNSON: “Things will go wrong whether you’re doing what you want or not. For me, regrets have always been harder to live with than consequences.”
Mr. Johnson (William Stanford Davis) dispenses thought-provoking words of wisdom when the time calls for it. I love that his pep talk for Janine essentially impels her to tell Gregory how she feels. He’s 100 percent right: I’d much rather live with consequences than regrets.
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All Hands on Deck
BARBARA: “Shiver me timbers, tiny bucko! Time to abandon ship!”
MELISSA: “Congrats, kid. Your party made Sea Barbara go full pirate.”
It’s never a shindig unless Sea Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) comes out to play courtesy of brown liquor. Nothing impresses Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) more than someone who can transform Sea Barbara into a pirate. It reminds me of Brooklyn Nine-Nine‘s Amy and her many personalities that emerge depending on how many drinks she’s had.
GREGORY: “I fixed your light.”
Here it is: One of the sexiest lines of dialogue in sitcom history. Who knew these four words could get one so hot and bothered? Listen, Gregory, I’ve been having problems with the light in my living room…
What are your favorite quotes from “Party”? Sound off in the comments below.
Abbott Elementary Seasons 1 through 3 are now streaming on Hulu.
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
Who I am: Before moving to Los Angeles after studying theater in college, I was born and raised in Amish country, Ohio. No, I am not Amish, even if I sometimes sport a modest bonnet.
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