Tomorrow Mass Effect: Andromeda will be released to the masses, and the days leading up to the game’s release, I couldn’t help but think about the fun times I had playing the original Mass Effect Trilogy. Words can sometimes not express how I feel about Mass Effect. I love those games to death and I devoted A LOT of time to them. I tried almost every romance, did full Renegade once (that was hard), full Paragon (that was not hard) and spent the majority of my time as a Paragade. My license plate is a shoutout to my alien boyfriend Garrus Vakarian. I have an Archangel sticker on the back of my car along with an N7 magnet. If I met a genie and was asked what my three wishes were, one would be to make the Mass Effect universe real (post-Reapers of course, I’m not insane) and my second wish would be to make all the turians my best friends. My third wish would have nothing to do with Mass Effect, in case you were wondering, I would do something altruistic like wish for world peace.
Unfortunately, I have no wishes, but I do have some fantastic Mass Effect parody songs that I can listen to whenever I need to go back in time and relive some great memories. Below are some Mass Effect tribute and parody songs to jam out to before the big day and to get us ready to traverse the galaxies one more time.
11. “Like John” – Random Encounters
Xenocidal, hoplophile, and aggressively tactile –
No one terrifies and vilifies
The other guys like John
There really is nothing scarier that scar-having, red eyes-flashing, 100% renegade John Shepard.
10. “No Shepard Without Vakarian” – Ellu Ngoko
Don’t bother with my antics,
Or tales of my heroics,
There can be no Shepard,
There really isn’t a Shepard without Vakarian.
9. Mass Effect 2 Parody “Paradise” – Terrance Jay Music
So he gathered up a team,
He couldn’t picture in his wildest dreams,
But with Garrus still by my side,
We’ll pick ‘em off one at a time.
In case you never want to play Mass Effect, but you will because you like good games, here is a primer on Mass Effect 2.
8. “Andromeda” – Approaching Nirvana
The game is not out yet but that doesn’t mean we can’t something nice like a dance remix of the main theme.
7. Mass Effect 3 Parody – Terence Jay Music
I picked my squad,
I chose my path,
The Geth armies are in the past
My universe will never be the same,
But ME3 your ending’s kinda lame.
Ok, ok. I was okay with the ending of ME3 and then the DLC came out and made it so much better because I really did need to say goodbye to Garrus one more time.
6. “N7 With Pride” – Borderline Disaster
I’m finding a way, I’m working it out.
The fate of the galaxy, what do I do now?
I’m paving the way, I’m making things right.
Can’t believe in the truth, wear N7 with pride.
This is what would happen if Linkin Park were Mass Effect fans and there is nothing wrong with that.
5. “We Are One” – JT Machinima
Take a good look at the planet that you’re landing on,
Cause we’re the ones that will be standing by the time you’re gone.
4. “An End Once and For All” Metal Cover – Sebdoom
As one commenter said, “Not even Reapers can forge metal like this.”
3. “Take it Back!” – Miracle of Sound
And when the world it starts to burn
At the point of no return
Keep a hold of
Tear out the affliction
And before the world turns black
Stand up and take it back!
2. “End of My Journey” (Mordin’s Song) – John Dreamer
He never fears the darkness might,
He got hope as h is strong loyal guide,
His journey never ends since future awaits!
Yes, because thinking about Mordin isn’t bad enough, now I can have the sad music to accompany my feelings.
1. “Reignite” – Malukah
I will never surrender
We’ll free the Earth and sky
Crush my heart into embers
And I will reignite…
I will reignite
As if “An End Once and For All” wasn’t sad enough, then you add lyrics like this and there’s too many feels for mere mortals to handle.
Ultimate Winner: Garrus Style – LadyGoDivaMusic
I met him on the Citadel while hunting Saren
A handsome C-Sec officer named Garrus Vakarian
He had a voice that made me melt
And blue eyes like the ocean
He’s a hell of a turian
Sure I could just make this song number 1, but I want to make it very clear that it’s different than the number 1 song. It’s the ultimate winner of all the songs. I’m also incredibly biased.