THE MAGICIANS -- Season:2 -- Pictured: (l-r) Stella Maeve as Julia, Olivia Taylor Dudley as Alice, Hale Appleman as Eliot, Summer Bishil as Margo, Jason Ralph as Quentin, Arjun Gupta as Penny -- (Photo by: Jason Bell/Syfy)

Hello, Fillorians! Welcome to another chapter in the magically magical saga of The Magicians. This week takes us back to Brakebills, where it all started, as the gang continues their quest to slay The Beast. As per usual, spoilers can apparate in the strangest of places and colorful language lies ahead. Be cautious, my friends!

We open with Quentin (Jason Ralph), Alice (Olivia Taylor Dudley), Margo (Summer Bishil) and Penny (Arjun Gupta) running through a maze in Fillory. They are confronted with shrouded men in hoods once they reach the center of the maze. “Okay, that’s weird,” Margo comments. “You wanna stop and figure it out, be my guest,” Penny replies coolly as he jumps into the water fountain before them. This acts as a portal, which deposits them back home. We see Dean Fogg (Rick Worthy) sitting on a park bench in meditation when our gang arrives. “Oh, you’re alive. What a lovely surprise,” Fogg says. Quentin pulls out the book Alice found in the Armory at Castle Whitespire. It’s a workbook belonging to a Brakebills student from 1893. However, Fogg already knew this. “I’m not blind, Quentin. Well, technically,” Fogg states.

While they are with Fogg, the gang also divulges that the only people that had access to the Armory were those of the monarchy. However, Quentin believes they’re not the first Brakebills students to go to Fillory or ascend the throne there. Penny not-so gently reminds them that if The Beast drains the wellspring, magic dies in Fillory. Fogg elaborates on that statement: “Magic dies everywhere on Earth.” The student who owned the workbook learned their craft from Professor Bigby. “Have you heard of him?” Quention asks Fogg. “Her?” he replies. Then, Penny’s hand decides to go rogue once again. He tells them to duck while he tries to tame the beast (ha ha ha) – his arm swinging wildly. “What the hell is that about?” Fogg asks, perturbed. Margo believes she has a temporary fix to Penny’s rogue hands problem. Fogg disappears.

Meanwhile, at Julia’s apartment, The Beast (Charles Mesure) has swallowed Frank Sinatra’s ghost and has taken to singing. Julia (Stella Maeve) is attempting to craft a binding sigil for the god Reynard. She is very annoyed at The Beast’s newfound hobby. “Okay, is that an actual song or are you trying to get me to stab a knife into my eardrums?” Julia asks him in irritation. He ignores her, lost in the music. Beast finally notices the sigil Julia is working on. He says it’s too similar to the last one – Reynard will know it’s her. Julia tells him he’s welcome to have an idea. “Oh no, I’d ruin your primitive purity. That’s part of what attracts him. You’re an absolute savage, junior.” The Beast commends.

THE MAGICIANS -- "Night of Crowns" Episode 201 -- Pictured: Charles Mesure as The Beast -- (Photo by: Carole Segal/Syfy)

Later, The Beast launches into a monologue about how pointless life is, which is why people play games. Sleeping around, for instance, or ascending a throne (he’s referring to Fillory). “That would be me, actually. Me and my friends,” Julia says. “I doubt they are your friends anymore and they won’t be royal as well,” The Beast replies. Julia hazards a guess that The Beast cursed Castle Whitespire. “Did I? It was so long ago, I hardly remember,” he says.

Meanwhile, we see Eliot (Hale Appleman) and Fen (Brittany Curran) enter the Throne Room for the first time. They are taken aback by the acrid stench of dead rats. There are also decayed corpses and skeletons strewn about.

Back in Julia’s apartment, The Beast says cheekily, “Yes, I believe I did work up a little welcome.” He crafted a test for any Children of Earth that ascended the throne and made it impossible for them to pass. “Anyway, you’re on the right track. Now we just need the bait,” he tells Julia. Julia offers herself as the bait to trap Reynard, but The Beast says Reynard knows her too well. Our dastardly Beast has the perfect candidate in mind for bait. Julia puts her foot down: “No, let’s skip the discussion and you do as I say or this” she summons the dagger “does its job.” The Beast smugly reminds her the blade only works if he tries to harm her or her friends. And with that, he apparates to a busy street, singing.

Meanwhile, the gang heads back to the cottage – only to find (or not find) it missing. After some magical prodding, Alice says it’s not invisible, it’s just not there. “Oh shit. End of semester prank to ditch the first year losers. I should have known. It was my idea,” Margo says. I love Margo with all my heart. Penny, however, does not. “I hate all of you,” he mumbles. Quentin, ever the voice of reason, says they should just find the cottage.

Later, King Eliot the Spectacular (or Champagne King?) break open their first bottle of Fillorian champagne as royalty. It tastes awful. Fen changes the subject from champagne to something a bit more serious. “I’m your wife. I want to be obedient,” she says, in all seriousness. Girl, you don’t need to submit to him! You have magical feminine powers all your own. Granted it’s not 2017 there, so that makes a difference. “Nobody wants to be obedient,” Eliot replies. I knew there was a reason Eliot was my favorite. “I don’t wanna run a cult,” he adds. He encourages his wife to speak her mind. She confesses that people are starving, crops are failing. “Oh okay, we should probably get on that,” he says, unsure of himself. Fen also reveals that magic is the problem.

Meanwhile, our magical gang crashes a Brakebills frat party. Everyone is surprised to see them. “Yep. We’re alive. Deal,” Queen Margo says, striking a pose that says just that. “Drink, now,” she demands while someone hastily hands her one. Penny sees Josh (Trevor Einhorn) and immediately launches on the defense, with every intention of pulverizing him. “You deserting, chicken shit motherf–ker!” Penny says to him. Just when he goes in for the punch his rogue hand betrays him. Josh misinterprets this as a handshake. “Like Lando and Han,” he says, referencing Star Wars which always makes my heart happy. And it’s always appropriate to do so. Penny knees him in the groin. “I still got my legs,” he says triumphantly.

Later, Dean Fogg reveals to Professor Pearl Sunderland (Anne Dudek) that Fillory is real. “And this is going to be on the syllabus for next semester?” she asks, partially sarcastically. Fogg explains that our gang needs battle magic to defeat The Beast. Battle magic was once a required course at Brakebills until it was outlawed. Professor Bigby was fired for fighting against the battle magic ban. Fogg says he will need Pearl’s help. “All battle magic spells are hidden in the library. No one knows the library better than you,” Fogg says, sealing the deal.

Meanwhile, Josh is icing his nuts, apologizing for both him and Victoria. Alice inquires after the latter’s whereabouts. “Traveling. I don’t know if she’s on this planet anymore,” Josh confesses. Margo crafted a crafty hangover cure for Penny that should also help with his shaking hands. Josh continue to try to mend fences. “It’s good to see you guys,” he says. “Hey f–k off,” our always charming Penny replies.

Later, we see The Beast reappear in Julia’s apartment with the bait for Reynard. He unmasks said bait to reveal Marina (Kacey Rohl). Julia is taken aback by this. “She is sheer hellcat perfection,” The Beast coos. Marina, on the other hand, says she “has no skin in this” except she wants to kick Julia’s ass and kill The Beast. Our musically inclined Beast bursts into song, as if on cue. “Did you scrape him off the cabaret floor?” Marina asks smugly. Julia reveals to Marina that she does have a stake in this, that Reynard is targeting hedge witches. Marina isn’t a fool, however, she understands The Beast simply captured her for bait. She leaves.

Meanwhile, Quentin and Alice are researching alone. Alice’s bracelet is burning her skin. Quentin advises her to remove it. “The more it burns the less time we have,” Alice replies. Quentin apologizes for the burden that is weighing on her shoulders. He hopes that if there was something he could do to help that she would ask, to “shift the wait off.” Alice responds she would seek his help, but we all know this is false. Alice has plans to carry this on her own.

Later, we see Marina is on the phone with a witch named Arleen (Kirsten Robek). “She’s a bitch on three wheels and probably bat shit crazy but she’s not wrong,” Marina states. I’m assuming this is in reference to Julia. She also says she knows they had a pact to stick to their own coasts, but they must take down The Beast. “Your coast or mine?” Arleen asks. Marina decides to go to San Francisco.

Back in Fillory, Eliot is getting the lowdown on the state of their crops. Apparently, they took care of themselves due to magic, so no one in Fillory needed to work the farm. Eliot begrudgingly admits that he grew up on a farm. “I spent years blocking it all out,” he reveals. Eliot will use his mighty farming skills to help them out.

Later, the Brakebills gang is in the library with Fogg and Pearl. “Professor Bigby was brilliant, impatient and mercurial. And also a 500 year-old pixie,” Fogg informs them. Battle magic lives here in the library. “She gave me the title of the book we’re searching for but I’m afraid it will be very hard to find,” Fogg says. “Last Hope Options” is its title. Margo and Fogg try looking via index cards. Alice and Quentin use magic to make several anagrams of “Last Hope Options.” Pearl and Penny utilize number codes in their search. Penny’s hands start acting up again. Pearl witnesses this and offers her assistance, but Penny shirks it off.

After everyone does extensive research, the gang reunites with their findings. Alice and Quentin show their 300 anagram phrases they were able to conjure. “Hotel Spa Potions” is the winner (and episode title, woo!), as it’s an actual book in the library. Pearl locates said book and they remove the jacket cover. This reveals the real spell book, “Last Hope Options.” Alice notices a chapter is missing. A note is scrawled within its pages, from Bigby to Henry (Dean Fogg). She encloses a riddle (as pixies are wont to do) revealing her whereabouts. “‘Island made of streets’ is Rhode Island, duh,” Margo says, gracing all of humanity with her infinite wisdom.

Later, Marina is in the building in San Francisco where Arleen works. She puts the guard to sleep at the front desk and makes her way upstairs. She discovers Arleen dead in her office, with her mid section ripped out. Hmm. Reynard’s work?

Meanwhile, Eliot and Fen are about to consummate their marriage. Eliot has several naked, beautiful women and men in the room with them. “You said anything,” Eliot teases. “But this – am I not enough for you?” Fen asks, discouraged. “You’re great for who you are it’s just – I already told you my life was different,” he replies. Eliot then explains they have sex and the naked people only have sex with each other while they watch. Fen replies that he is their king (and also this is weird). Eliot reluctantly sends them away. “You all look really good naked,” he says as a farewell. “I guess life is about new experiences, and I’ve never been pussy-whipped, so…” Eliot trails off, jumping into new experiences.

THE MAGICIANS -- "Night of Crowns" Episode 201 -- Pictured: Stella Maeve as Julia -- (Photo by: Carole Segal/Syfy)

Later, Julia is still working on binding sigil. “You’re doomed, which I might find amusing but it’s likely to get me killed,”  The Beast says to her. The Beast also adds he’s going to make an enemy of a god he has no quarrel with. He wishes to take a bit of Julia’s Shade so her trauma would disappear. “Come near me and the knife won’t kill you, because you can still live without a dick,” Julia threatens him. He relents.

Meanwhile, the gang tries to figure out the riddle Professor Bigby left them. Pearl sees Penny try to gain control of his hands and offers her help again. This time, he accepts it. A student informs Fogg that there has been a security breach. We see Marina sitting in his office. “I need asylum,” she says worriedly.

“What else can you tell me about this situation?” Fogg asks as he pours them drinks. “A raping, killing omniscient god with a pretty specific type – me and mine,” Marina replies. Fogg tells her that his school is not a safe house. Marina counters with how good of a pupil she was. “I confused talent with character. You need both to be a true magician, Marina,” Fogg says. He hopes she will use what she learned in school to help herself. “What I learned here will get me killed,” she replies brusquely as she storms out.

Later, Fogg, Quentin and Alice are at Bigby’s house. Fogg reminds them that pixies are tricky, and to keep all questions and answers short and to the point. Bigby (Amanda Brooks) appears and immediately tells Fogg he looks awful and “ancient.” She then proceeds to make out with him in front of his students. “Do you have time to go to bed with me?” Bigby asks cheekily. “We are a bit on the clock, darling,” he replies. He informs Bigby that Quentin and Alice are in need of the Rhinemann Ultra. Bigby retorts if battle magic wasn’t outlawed thirty-eight years ago they would have it. Bigby invites them inside and plays hostess.

“Why was battle magic outlawed?”Quentin asks her. “Humans’ least attractive qualities: panic and paranoia,” Bigby responds. Bigby points out Alice’s great power and talents right away. “I can feel your power. It’s almost godlike,” she says. Fogg mentions Alice’s power is waning, hence the time crunch. He also says he wants the battle magic spell from Bigby, but she needs some convincing as to why they should have it.

Later, in Fillory, Eliot apologizes to Fen for the previous night’s antics. He says he will need to find a way to blow off steam, but for now he will “stroll the memory fields” of his childhood – “sprinkling shit.” Fen is perplexed by this. Apparently, they never used fertilizer for their crops.

Meanwhile, Alice compliments Bigby on her use of the Rhinemann Ultra to help win the Civil War for the Union. “It was you who slipped it to Rupert Chatwin to win the Battle of the Bulge. You changed history,” Quentin adds, continuing the flattery. Which does, indeed, get you everywhere. Bigby launches into a story about her trysts with Fogg on the Brakebills campus, and that she knows Quentin and Alice “f–k like jack rabbits.” Awkward! Fogg prods her to stay on topic. Bigby finally relents and hands Alice a handkerchief with the spell she needs. “No one but you can be within twenty feet of the blast. It will kill anyone including your beast,” Bigby tells her.

Back in Fillory, King Eliot christens the farming expedition they are about to embark. “Many a farm to graze with our royal dung,” he says as he swiftly leaves to avoid the lingering stench of poo.

Later, Alice practices her magic outside. “By the time I’m fully powered up The Beast will have eaten all of our faces off,” Alice says worriedly. Fogg encourages her to keep working at it.

Meanwhile, Pearl is wrapping chains around Penny’s wrists to begin a spell. His hands are chained behind his back. “You can’t look at your hands for twelve hours,” Pearl informs him. She rubs a magical salve on his hands to keep the blood circulating and alleviate pain. He asks her to rub said salve on his shoulders as well. Things get kinky. The deal is almost sealed when Pearl informs him that she would gladly do things with him after he graduates. Sorry, Penny. No soup for you!

Later, Quentin meets Julia in secret. He warns her to stay away from The Beast – that they plan to kill him. Julia counters they can kill him after she finds Reynard. Quentin tells her revenge can wait. “I need you to see that this is bigger than you. The Beast, he’s killing magic,” Quentin informs her. “Reynard is killing people everywhere and you think that’s less important?” she retorts. She threatens Quentin that if the gang snuffs The Beast before she enacts her revenge they better be far away from her. “I came here to warn you and you’re threatening me,” Quentin replies in shock. Julia tells him The Beast put a curse on Castle Whitespire – on anyone who assumed the throne. They part ways.

Penny is pleased to discover his hands are in check once again. “I owe you for real,” he says to Pearl gratefully.

Later that evening, Fogg assembles the gang to prepare them for battle. He tells them they first must get blindingly drunk (maybe wrong descriptive word for that). The gang gets tattoos! Even though you aren’t supposed to be intoxicated for those, Fogg. They get intricate symbols etched with a flaming metal rod into their backs. Next, Fogg informs them they each will receive their own Keikos demon – “unleash these and it will keep The Beast busy,” Fogg says. The demons are a one shot weapon, so they must choose their times of action wisely. Now where do these demons live, you may wonder? They are dissolved into the gang’s newly minted magical back tattoos. Ouch! We see Quentin scream as his pet demon dissolves into his body.

Back in Fillory, Fen rushes gleefully to Eliot and informs him their crops are growing. People can eat! “Thank the hell that was my childhood,” Eliot mumbles. Suddenly, as things usually are, the gang appears unexpectedly in the castle. Eliot, ever the emotional being, is unfazed by this. “I give you the reign of King Shit,” he announces to them.

Later, Marina comes to Julia with her mind made up. She will help her kill Reynard. Our jazzy Beast comes in singing. “Are we going to kill a god?” he asks them. Yes, yes they are.

My, have I missed this show. The biting sense of humor, the complex mythology, the friendships, the magic. We got to see Eliot commence his reign as High King and the gang advance in their quest to stop The Beast, while Julia deepens her working relationship with said Beast. Will they succeed in nabbing Reynard? Will Eliot craft the perfect champagne? Maybe Bigby and Fogg will live happily ever after under the juniper tree by the infirmary? Only one way to find out!

The Magicians airs Wednesdays at 9pm on your Syfy affiliate.

Melody McCune
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